My NLP Survival Kit: PAUSE - UNPLUG - RESET

MY STORY: Going from fragile to agile

Darkest of days

As someone who is no stranger to adversity, I have danced along the fragile to agile continuum many times in my life, often with heartache and pain.  

There were numerous occasions when my mental health was significantly eroded by the intensity of events which life threw at me.  

Within the space of five years, I experienced redundancy, a failed business, near bankruptcy, divorce, bereavements and even an early stage diagnosis of testicular cancer. Fortunately, I got through and overcame each and every one, albeit with a few big scars along the way, physically and emotionally.  

Even the most resilient of us would not be immune to the impact of such occurrences. As you can imagine, there were phases when I completely stalled and I just could not get out of bed. Some days I just felt catatonic and numb, like there was no hope. The range of emotions which I felt was so complex and varied that it took me a long time to be able to define them.  

I have always been relatively self-aware and perhaps that was my greatest weapon during those dark times. I was very conscious of the effects and the impact that my low mood and depression were having on my quality of life; it was abysmal. There was also immense guilt about not being as good a parent to my children as I knew I could or should be. 

Time for change

I had no choice but to reach out to my GP a handful of times. That was an easy option for me as I knew that I needed help to beat what I was feeling, or to at least be able to manage it. Unfortunately, none of the services that I needed were readily available. Sitting, waiting and doing nothing about it wasn’t an option for me so I had to find ways to heal myself. Step by step, I started to make small, yet radical changes to different aspects of my life.  

First and foremost, I found that processing and expressing the erratic emotions, which were continually hijacking my days and weeks, through creative outlets was really effective for me; it was self-therapy in its purest form.  

I also joined the gym, a big cliché I know. Within a number of weeks, how I looked began to change dramatically and thus, how I felt. I started to reconnect with my identity and the person who I really wanted to be. That in itself was an extremely cathartic journey.

Finding positive outlets was only the first part of my journey, the real work began when I started to look inwards. My training in NLP from a few years earlier was my real catalyst for change. I utelised tried and tested NLP processes to create a series of personal self-help tools. It was this inner work that I commenced that really made the difference, I truley believe this! 

The journey wasn't easy

As the months passed, I think it is fair to say that I completely transformed into a better version of myself. My confidence grew and I felt an inner-strength which I never thought would be possible. Eventually, I also started to soar professionally with a successful new business venture.  

By thinking and feeling differently, I began viewing the world through new eyes. I became aware of so many options, choices and opportunities that were available to me, to which I had been blind when that figurative duvet cover was pulled comfortably over my head.  

In all honestly though, at times, finding the energy, motivation and discipline to move forward and implement even the smallest of personal changes was pure warfare! So often, I just wanted to close the blinds, lock the door and escape from the world; that is just what I did many times. Being able to recharge was very important. Gradually, the need to do that became less and less as my energy reserves grew.  

Getting mentally buff

Today, I feel fitter and healthier than ever before. I am forty-three years old and I am physically, mentally and emotionally in the best shape of my life. I have an immense amount of gratitude for all that I have and all that I have accomplished. I now know that I have all of the tools and resources that I need to handle whatever my future throws at me. Having found a balance between doing things which feed my energy levels and creating moments to recharge, ensures that my approach is sustainable. My mindset and perspective have also shifted towards the belief that any adversity I encounter is an opportunity to learn and grow as a person and as a father. This is what I consider to be true agility! It has helped me to feel more resilient and given me a high level of control of my overall well-being.  

A big part of mental health awareness is feeling able to talk about our emotions and to seek help when needed. For me, it is also about feeling empowered to share my story in the hope that it may encourage others to do the same. I do sometimes wonder, if I had felt better-equipped to talk more about how I felt day to day, would I have recovered quicker?  

The future

My biggest realisation is that prevention is the best remedy. Having a balanced, proactive approach to taking care of yourself and your mental health is key. Implementing healthy, protective daily habits, setting regular goals and recognising progress are just some of the steps we can take to stay mindful, full of vitality and ensure that we are continually growing, even during and after a global pandemic.

We have little control over events that occur in everyday life, but we do have significant influence over how we respond to them. Becoming more agile is akin to taking our vitamins; we can strengthen our immunity to adversity. We can check in with ourselves regularly to identify where we are on the ‘fragile to agile’ scale and take the required steps to nudge ourselves to a higher level of personal agility.

In this short Masterclass, I will share with you how I harnessed my knowledge of NLP to identify and create a personal toolkit to help me think, feel and do things differntly. A toolkit which not only saved me but aslo completley changed and transfromed me . I still use and revisit these tools regularily when my world closes in around me. They have been an asset particularily over the last two-years. 

I feel privilaged to be able to share them with you, your loved ones or anyone who you think might get some kind of value from them. 

I hope to see you soon,

George